Well, I finally got the internet connected today. I really didn't realize how much I'd miss it until it was gone and I was cut off from the world!

It's funny, I'm lying on the floor right now in Lindsay's Room (because that is where it was easiest to connect it). I couldn't move my desk in here because then I would have to move my dresser... so the floor it is.

Haven't been up to a whole lot. Just hanging out at Jen, Megan and Daley's... doing a huge puzzle. I wonder if it is done yet...hmm.

Lindsay moves in tomorrow... exciting!

I'm really tired because I didn't sleep well last night.... 4 and half hours total.

sigh... well that's all for now folks.

So this is my last post from the good old city of Calgary. I'm tired as I have not slept well tonight... my bed partially packed up along with my comforter. I was up at 3:30 am to unpack my comforter as I was very cold. It seems fall is coming.

Well, this post is going to be short as I still have much to do before I head out on the road.

Until I get internet hooked up- Goodbye

Well it's been awhile since I've posted... I'm leaving tomorrow for Edmonton. It was supposed to be today but Dad needed the truck for something today and so we are leaving tomorrrow. It's probably best this way as I am not packed right now... well i'm partially packed but not totally packed.

It was kinda sad leaving my job last night. I mean, I really enjoyed working at Heritage Park and I will definately miss it. I should be so lucky to find a part time job like that in Edmonton.

Anyways... I will cut this post short as I have a ton to do...

My song of the moment is :Time of Our Lives by David Usher

Wow, didn't post on Sunday and now it feels like it's been forever... spent the day being lazy/domestic. I wanted to do something with my Dad but he forgot I had the day off and went and did "stuff". Which is okay because I got to see Lindsay and Michael for the last time until reading break.

After I dropped Linds and Michael off at their house I drove around aimlessly partially because the way I usually take out of Michael's was blocked by a huge hole... Somehow I ended up on 14th street headed in the right direction to take John Laurie, but I thought I was on a different street and didn't recognize where I was (although I was only a few blocks away from Daley's house...) and turned off of it only to have to turn back onto it... it was though driving around not really knowing where I was going, but really knowing... and that makes no sense. Whatever... I got home....

Only 4 more days of work and until I go back up to edmonton... kinda scary actually.

I'm excited though... I can't wait to put up my 5$ blue shower curtain...

Well time to catch some zzzz... later

Wow... I spent far too much time at my place of work today. I took my family to Heritage Park today and it was actually a lot of fun. I got to visit with my family- but not nearly as much as I would have liked. It was far too short for not having seen them in two years. And my Dad was looking really good, which makes me happy because he was very zombie like the last time I saw him and that worried me.

Feeling very much in need of a back massage...possible back injury from the moving of far too many tables and chairs... I think i might be exagerating... and spelling badly again.

Excited because tomorrow is my Friday... only five more days of working at heritage park. I think I'll miss it though. It's been a great job....

I'm in another one of those "let's put a song on repeat moods" Tonight it's Deliver Me- by Moist (thanks for the song, Ash.)

That's all for tonight... I told you there would be nothing deep and meaningful posted tonight. Especially because of my odd mood tonight... I've said tonight a lot in the past two lines. anyhow- good night until next time... ciau :)

I bought new glasses today! They are super cool... and very different from what I have now. I pick them up tomorrow morning. I bought sunglasses too... I'm almost more excited about those...

I was supposed to go to my friend's pool party tomorrow but my sister and her three kids are in from Swift Current and I'm seeing them instead. Unfortunately I couldn't convince them to go to the pool party... I haven't seen them in about two years. It doesn't feel like it's been that long but time sure flies.... and now my niece is 13. It's amazing. I used to calculate when I was 13 how old I'd be when she was finally thirteen. And I always thought it was soooo far away. But herre I am... 20 years old and she's 13. My nefew is 11 and my other niece is 9.... I can't wait to see them. They've probably changed a lot since the last time I saw them.

I could have gone to a party tonight but I didn't really feel like it. And I have to get up early tomorrow and although I'd "plan" not to stay late and "plan" not to drink it probably wouldn't happen and I'd get home at 3:00 in the morning and be dead tired. And then I'd have to get up at 8 and be all cheery with my relatives and I'd probably be more like a zombie.

Song of the day- Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley... I love this song soooo much.

No deep insights today as I didn't do a lot of thinking.... come to think of it... there probably won't be any tomorrow either. I won't have time to think....Well time to sign off... Peace to all and to all a goodnight....

Okay... so I hardly did anything productive today besides work. Which means I had a day full of thinking...

I guess I was kinda in my own little world all day... a hazy daze just like the weather today. All the smoke looks like a fog....

Anyhow so I was thinking today... (while my internal radio played California by Phantom Planet on repeat) and I started feeling rather nostalgic. Actually... I've been feeling very nostalgic for quite awhile now... it's odd. I can't help but think of the past lately. I think it might be being back in Calgary for the summer. It almost feels like I'm preparing for my life to start again. Although it's not like life has ended here... but it feels like I'm living in the past and yet at the same time not.

I feel like I'm floating in between two times... the past and the future.

And then I was thinking about how long it's been since I've actually liked a person. As more than a friend that is. And when I say *actually* liked I mean... personality and all. I mean I've had some crushes- purely physical though and no one I'd feel comfortable pursuing anything with. People who don't know I exist and people who after I talked to them didn't seem so appealing after all. And then the people I have *actually* liked have been completely unavalible in their own special ways... ( I don't want to go into detail on this one as it is personal) I'm starting to wonder whether I ever will like again. But then I started thinking more rationally and realized I'm only human and of course I'll like again... it's just a matter of time...

As okay as I am with being single... I guess I am starting to feel a little lonely. I guess I just want what most people want... someone to share their life with. But I'm also willing to wait... as long as it takes...

And on that note I think i'll end this for the night... goodnight to all!

Well it's my Friday and it's yet another night in for me. But I'm okay with that... I guess I kinda would have liked to go out but whatever...

Anyways... I have a rant tonight and it's something I was thinking about at work today. Okay, I was talking to my co-worker Karyn and she's been "getting to know" this guy who picked her up at the gas station. Anyways, apparently last night they "defined" their relationship as being "friends with benefits". For the record, I hate the term "friends with benefits". Okay I have no problem with people having flings and such. But please don't call it friends with benefits.... call it what it is. The reason why I dislike the term so much is because friends - if that is what you are- DON'T makeout with each other. They don't fool around with each other... etc. Or at least them didn't the last time I checked... but I guess you are going to say well that's why we are friends with benefits... the more I rant the more I realize I really don't hate that particular label "friends with benefits" ... I hate all labels. I mean why put yourself into a box? Because society needs to know blah blah... well society can go to hell. The moment the world can stop labeling people and trying to sort us into groups and categories and such is the moment that we will find peace in the world...

I guess I'll end on that note... I'm really not this angry in real life... I just had to write down what was going through my head at work today. And if it doesn't make sense... it doesn't... it is what it is... Well that's all for tonight... goodnight to all...

Another Monday has come and gone although for me it felt more like Thursday. That's because my day off is Wednesday. I am looking forward to my day off very much as I am going to the eye doctor and getting my hair cut. Well, I'm really only getting my hair shaped into some sort of style. Everything seemed to go my way today which was really nice. The day had a nice flow to it... and nothing seemed to bother me. I bought the coolest (and cheapest) fabric to make my duvet cover with and although I was running late for work I managed to get there with plenty of time to spare. I even got the worst area to clean in the park (worst meaning greatest number of windows and most sauna-like). I guess it comes back to the discussion I had last night with Caitlin. It's all your perspective. I guess I just chose to look at getting the trains (the area I cleaned) as a good thing. And then suddently it was.

Speaking of the conversation I had with Caitlin- it was great. I was starting to think I was incapable of have intellectual conversation and that would mean I was turning into some mindless bimbo which is certainly not my goal in life. I think I must quote part of what she said last night because it was so good, so well written and so what I believe:

" things are what you make of them, and you mold them by how you approach them. everything is a completely neutral stimulus, but it's your history and perspective which define it's meaning, which is personal to you

   perspective is a great thing, but unfortunately most people dont realize that you can change it with a little effort. people would rather sit there, put no effort in, and be miserable. it's insane. when you think about it, all it takes is a little effort, and you can change your perspective to one that brings you happiness..... and you will undoubtedly be happier in the long run...... "

When I think back to how we all were in grade ten when I met most of my friends I can't help but be proud of us and how far most of us have come in our lives. I am lucky to have the friends that I do as each one of them inspires me to be best that I be... (I know gag... but it's true...)

So yeah... tomorrow is my "friday" and that is exciting. And considering the late hour of my evening last night, I'm not that tired. So life is good...

Well I guess this will be my first real post where I actually write something. Or maybe it won't be. It's funny because I thought of so many things that I could write in here while I was working and now that I am writing they seem to be gone. Anyhow... my dad sounds like he might be lending my mom his truck so I can move my stuff up to Edmonton. Which is good because that will save me a lot of money and it's been hard trying to find a vehicle to rent.

I'm reading a good book right now- A Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. I really enjoy Oscar Wilde's work. He always manages to make me laugh and his writing is littered with great one liners.

I was annoyed at work to begin with because my co-worker was late... and she proceeded to take her time getting her uniform on and such and we only got half of what we were supposed to get done because she didn't feel like working. She's quitting soon... but I can't understand why people go to work and then DON'T work and leave me to do all the work. I mean I complain about having to go to work before I get there, but that's more of an anticipation thing. Once I'm there it isn't so bad and I do what I get paid to do- without complaining. sigh... there's my little rant about work.

I was just thinking today (while I worked of course) of how much everything seems to have changed over the past five years of my life. And also what has seemed to remain the same. And then i was wondering if I've really changed... or if it is just my outlook on life that has changed? Or it could be both... I'm a much happier person now than I was five years ago- hell I'm much happier today than I was three years ago and that has made a huge difference in my life. I guess I know what I want out of life now... or at least more so than I did back in grade ten. I'm stilll a little insecure... but I'm working on that. And yeah... I'm a little bit more guarded than I used to be which is why it's been so hard for me to write this. Sometimes I feel like I want to tell someone something- something I might have freely told in the past and I stop myself. I guess that comes from being hurt... anyways... I guess I'm done pouring my heart out for the evening although who knows when this rare occasion will come upon us again... til next time adios.

Well this is the first post of a possible many... or a possible few. So what we have right now are possibilities. Wow... aren't I the Queen of Stating the Obvious! I guess what I'm getting at is right now I don't have much to say. Life is good right now. I'm moving up to Edmonton in excatly a week today and I am excited. It's hot and humid in my house... well humid for Calgary at least. Well at least it was when I wrote this last night. I don't have much to say right now so I'll end this begining right now.