I'm having one of those terrible, no good, very bad days...

I got my microbiology mark back... ugh. Well on the plus side I'm not failing the course... and I guess since I did well on genetics something had to give.... and really the mark isn't that bad... I should be happy like I was in grade 11 when I got 69's on stuff... I just wish it were 70. 70 looks better...

I forgot my anthro notes at home... so I'll be taking notes in my micro notebook and transfering them later... I hate doing that.

I sent all of my bio labs through my e-mail so i could work on them at school... but alas that didn't work as planned either. My one lab that did send won't open... the other one is fucked, and yeah. So right now I am piddling away useful time that could have been spent doing that- had stupid technology worked in my favour for once. As a result I will be up later tonight putting the finishing touches on the stupid reports.... and in some ways I guess that is my own fault for not doing it last night.

So I am feeling very discouraged, very much like doing nothing at all- when in reality that is the opposite of what I SHOULD be doing! AHHHH!

Well seeing as I can't really work on my bio labs anymore I should probably go somewhere to try and finish what I can that doesn't involve stupid technology.

so yeah...

mood: irritated, tired, on the verge on a breakdown...
Song: Lonely Day - Phantom Planet

I guess I'd have to say I'm kinda down... it's never a good sign when I start bringing out the sad songs. I also can't concentrate very well on what I am trying to work at. I'm scared I'll fail and right now I don't care. That's not true, I do care but it doesn't make me any less distracted.

I want to go visit my dad. I don't want to write three midterms in the next two days. I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep but I know I can't. Or just sit on a couch and watch movies. Like Bend it Like Beckham... or American Beauty or Life as a House.

I wish I could cry... I think it would help release a little of what is inside of me. Too bad I'm all dried up...

Mood: worry, with a side of guilt and exam anxiety
Song: Nothing to do with anything just a song I'm liking right now- Photograph by Blue Rodeo. (that's right I've brought out the country)

Okay... the stress is building but I just have take things one by one. I was freaking out last night... I seem to have one mental breakdown a night... well mental breakdown seems extreme, but I do freak out.

I think Lindsay thought I was crazy for going for a walk at 10:30 with Daley. Well maybe I am crazy, but i needed to get out of the house.

I had the most intense craving for medicated lip stuff. I guess old habits die hard. I could be addicted to other things, much more addictive things and I'm glad that I am not.

I'm supposed to go to a birthday party tonight... I want to go but I feel like I should neglect my school work... ugh. I hate that feeling...

Well I should go... later.

Unfortunately I can't share today's "wonderful" events with you all. It involved a waste of time and lots of bus riding and lots of waiting and me getting to know the city better. And and the end of it all I still have the same problem I started with and won't know for three days if there is any solution to it. I'm so very uncomfortable...

Anyhow...

I should go and try and sleep so I can be more productive tomorrow.

goodnight...

Mood: Irritated and uncomfortable
Song:Karma Police - Radiohead

Okay this will be short cause it's 1:00 am and I am tired!

I love turkey!

My first turkey dinner made by me and it was great!

Off to bed...

Mood: Turkey sleepy
Movie: I've been quoting Lord of the Rings ALL day... must be the food!
Song: In My Life- The Beatles...

Wow... I seem to have gotten myself into the wonderful world of cramming once again. Why do I do this to myself? I want to cry because I'm so far behind, but that will do nothing. Last year I wouldn't have cared this much, but these courses matter to me. Why have I done nothing all week? Where did my week go? Alas... I cannot answer these questions.

I've been hiding, and in fact I still am. I've put up a wall, one that probably won't come down anytime soon. I built it strong, so that I couldn't be hurt again. I'd like to take it down- take my chances with the world again, but I'm so scared I'll be hurt again. I know, though, the greatest risks taken in life are often the most rewarding experiences. Not that I have any specific risks right now. Generally though, I am scared to put myself out there when it comes to relationships. I also generally try and bury myself in my schoolwork to forget about stuff like this. I guess that should work well for the time being seeing as I have so much.

Happy to be having turkey tomorrow...

Unhappy about the state of my school affairs...it will be a wonder if I sleep tonight.

I guess I'll go try...

oh yeah... song of the night: Save Me- Aimee Mann... in fact I feel like listening to a whackload more of Aimee Mann music... she's awesome for my mood.

Wow, time flies when you are having fun! And fun I did have time weekend! I relaly should get back to studying anthro as my midterm is tomorrow but I'll do a quick blog and be on my way.

Well Lindsay's friend Jenny came for the weekend so on friday we picked her up from the bus depot and proceeded back to out hovel. We made fajitas and carrot cake for our wonderful night in which consisted of good conversation, great TV(Gilmore Girls and Sex in the City) and even better food (mmm carrot cake!). Up early the next day for our date with our bacteria and then it was off to the gym. After the gym we head to west ed for some shopping- ugh I hate west ed more with every visit. Bought a cool shirt that only set me back 7$. Made our way back to the Hovel for a quick nap before heading out for supper and drinks at O'Byrnes. The food was some pretty damn good bar food and my tequila sunrises weren't bad either. To top it all off- I won an Alexander Keith's mug! It's quite nice! We decided we would have to go out more often as we had loads of fun and got our minds off of school for a few of hours. We even made a pact to go out after finals. We even shook on it...

So after the walk home that seemed shorter than the walk there (hmm I wonder why?) we got ready for bed, ate some more carrot cake and chatted some more...

today was spent studying for anthro... all and all a great weekend!

Back to the grind!

Mood: Contented
Song: Flake- Jack Johnson