So I didn't end up going to bed until midnight last night because I wanted to get my stuff ready for school so that I could get to school early and sign up for gym equipment. So now I am here early feeling like I should still be sleeping... I guess on the plus side, I get to go to my Ecology lab? Hmmm I really don't see any pluses to that.

Okay here is my bit on Ecology... a lot of the time it is actually interesting. And I think the class would be enjoyable if my prof wasn't a self-righteous ass. But whe he started talking about the multi-dimention hyperspace of niche breath, that's where I lost all respect I had for the guy. Who uses words like that to talk about Ecology? I think the guy honestly chose the wrong field. Or maybe I did... Maybe Daley's right, Physics would be more useful for the type of biology I am going into. Ecology, while I see it's importance on a global scale, just isn't important to me. I understand why I have to take it.... that doesn't mean I have to like it. I did try and like it. I gave it a month and I don't really like it anymore than I did before. I think I was just pretending to like it before. Kinda like biochem. I pretend to like that course to give myself the illusion that I actually care about it.

Okay, well enough ranting about ecology and school in general. I guess I should get to my lab where we will be studying interspecies competition. Ooooh I can't wait. Really.

State: Sleepy and cynical
Song: Kill me now- Adam Sandler

Wow... this is the lastest I have gone to bed all week. I don't have to get up early tomorrow so I thought I'd stay up and finish my stats assignment for ecology. It's pretty much finished now, minus me printing it off.

I was really hyper tonight. And now I am ready to sleep. mmm sleep....

State: good- I think I'm on the brink of a breakdown though (hence the hyperness)
Song: random iTunes (and ,yes I was actually letting all the songs play)

I felt all motivated to work when I was at school and the feeling promptly left when I came home. Darn. I am determined to get that feeling back!!!

I really need to study biochem, but it really doesn't interest me to know much of anything about it other than to hear it once and say - well that is nice, moving on now. Genetics on the otherhand is not nearly as painful to study, but I still need to study it. I think I will devote tonight to biochem and maybe the latter part of this evening to finishing my stats assignment for my Ecology lab.

My first Safewalk shift was spent putting posters up inside and we walked one person to their car. This resulted in us being boiling hot as we were dressed to be outside. Oh well, such is life. I'm feeling better today, but I wish the furnace in my house wouldn't be so testy. It goes on all the time regardless of what temperature the thermostat is set at. I mean we have the thermostat set to 16 right now and it is boiling in my room... and I can't sleep in a hot room.

There is a mouse living in the hole place beside my window!!! He/she is sooo cute! Lindsay and I named him/her Legolas because it is a fairly gender neutral name and we gave the mouse some peanuts and a "blanket" a face cloth thing. He's come out for food a few times. Anyhow, as long as he isn't in our house I don't mind him living there.

As I haven't really delved deep in this entry it seems almost pointless to start now... I kinda wanted to. We were talking about stages of development in psych today, and I was kinda wondering where I fall as far as stages according to Ericson. I think I know who I am, but for all I know I still might be trying to figure that out. Apparently, in order to form meaningful relationship (which is the stage after finding out who you are) involves finding out who you are. I'm wondering if I have done that... hmmm I'm kinda thinking I have, but now the question is: Will I be able to form meaningful relationships? I'm not sure I believe the whole stage theory, but it certainly makes sense and also got me thinking at the early hour of 10 in the morning (I'm aware that isn't that early). Sigh... only time will tell :)

Anyhow, I'm really only avoiding the pain that is biochem. And it is a pain. So I think I will go and try to tackle the beast!

State: Tackling the BEAST! (I hope...)
Song: It's all understood- Jack Johnson

So today was one of those days where you always feel like you are forgetting something and you actually are but you can't put your finger on what you are missing. Kind of like Neville and the Rememberall- it's glowing red but you can't remember what you are forgetting.

Today it so happens that I forgot to count my Daphnia. If you are wondering what those are they are essentially water flees that live in ponds. I ended up skipping my Ecology class to go count them. And of course there were quite a few as they hadn't been counted since Friday.

To make matters worse, I have the feeling that I am getting sick and at one of the worst possible times. I feel very much like I have the flu. I'd go home, but I really wouldn't want to have an excused absence on my first shift of Safewalk. I'll just go home right after and eat some of our chicken soup and go to bed. Hopefully I can stop myself from getting sick.

Other than that, I guess I am starting to feel stressed about my midterms that are coming up next week. At least I get them over with in the begining of the week.

I wish I had some deeper thoughts right now,but my headache/body ache is rendering it very hard for me to actually think about anything so I'm not even going to try.

State: I feel like I've been run over by a Truck
Song: Where Is My Mind?- the pixies

I had my Safewalk training today. It was actually quite fun. We played some games and mingled and such. I think it will be a good group to volunteer for. I like that it is structured, which means I am more likely to keep doing it.

On the school front, I am not doing much better. I'm sure I'll wake up once midterms hit, but I hope that I smarten up before then so I can actually do okay on them.

Hmmm I was thinking about high school last night. I was just thinking about how holding on to feelings you have for someone that doesn't have feelings for you only blinds you to all the other fish in the sea. I think I missed some fish in high school for precisely that reason. It is really too bad actually. Oh well, one cannot dwell on what is done and should only really try to live for today. So yeah... I guess that is my deepish thought for the day. Not really that deep.

Oh well I am going to get ready for bed right so that I won't go to bed too late tonight. Goodnight everyone!

State: exhausted
Song: Aside- the weakerthans

Ahhh... I just had a great nap. I have actually discovered that while I sleep mostly on my right side it's more distributed equally between the two sides. This has resulted in my being unfulfilled in my sleep. I wake up somewhate stiff wish I could sleep on my other side. So just now I took a nap on the side that I got pierced. And it didn't really hurt. But I think that the contact with my conforter has made it bleed a little. Oh well.

Homework once again not going so hot. I just wonder where all my motivation has gone. I guess I have read over all my notes for my genetics class which is okay. But one always hopes to be more productive than one is.

Slightly more motivated after the nap, so I guess I will start the reading that I need to do for next week.

I'm kinda excited for tonight Lindsay and I are making crèpes!!! yum...When she wakes up I'll suggest going to the store.

My ecology book/ genetics articles call....

State: Unmotivated, but less so than before.
Song: Aside and Everything Must Go - The Weakerthans

I had I great time tonight at Theater Sports. I had been invited before but I figured I would take my school buddies up on the offer finally. Wow... improv is great.

The best was when I didn't realize how far they would go with this pants no pants thing. I mean, I totally wasn't expecting to see four guys drop their pants tonight. It was awesome. Not to mention they were talking about fire hoses and such when they dropped them for the first time.

When I got home, Lindsay and Daynika were still up and there were still warm cookies on the table. Mmmm chocolate chip cookies.

I am already not looking forward to the later part of today. Yuck homework and biochem. I sound like I am treating biochem as a seperate entity. Well it is.... a seperate evil entity.

And as I have Safewalk training on Sunday, I need to get as much homework done tomorrow as possible. Which basically means I should go to bed and sleep. And so I will.... to infinity and beyond!!!!!

State: Very Happy- Laughter is the best medicine!
Song: Theater Sports mix... which kinda sounds like music from about 3 years ago, music I recall listening to in Ricki's convertable.

For some reason, I always wake up feeling more like writting than when I go to sleep. It is quite weird. Maybe because I'm more refreshed and have less cluttering my mind at that point.

I have decided I am inept with boys (or men or whatever you want to call guys around my age). For some reason, I am unable to break the ice with them randomly (I am well aware of how this might sound and I am talking about talking to them- nothing more) and usually need someone to introduce me to someone before I feel confortable talking to them. I think this is some sort of defence mechanism thing. I've been hurt a few times and I guess I'm "protecting" myself. Well, I'm sick of protecting myself. It's easy to just say stop doing it... I've actually lived like this for much longer than even I might think. I mean, I was picked on in all through elementary and jr. high and I think this led to me closing up to the opposite sex. Granted, once I know a guy for awhile and I guess after I have made sure they won't completely emotionally-rape me I can open up quite easily (well relative to before).

I don't know... this is something I am working on and probably will be working for awhile. I guess I should head off to my lab... I really don't want to go, but alas it must be done.

State: pensive

Okay... not much to say. I got the top part of my ear pierced yeterday and I am quite happy with it.

I have been rather unproductive as of late and this bothers me.

Anyhow... I have a morning lab tomorrow. Sleep calls.

State: tired, zombie like
Song:Brother Down- Sam Roberts

Well it's early this morning and I'm already not making sense. I have a feeling this is going to be an interesting day. Instead of going to bed at midnight when I hould have, I proceeded to have a lenghty three hour discussion with Lindsay and Daynika about sex. It was highly entertaining as this is one of out favourite topics to talk about. I apparently I'm willing to sacrifice my precious sleep in order to engage in such interesting conversation.

So if I am a grouch today, it is my own damn fault. I'll probably still complain though. OR just find some random bench to sleep on and miss my classes. I'm feeling surprisingly awake considering my 4 and half hours sleep.

I guess I should get my ass into gear as I need to be leaving for school soon.

State: Bright eyed, all things considered.
Song: Bubble Toes-Jack Johnson

Okay, I was just looking at the layout of my last blog with all the pictures... and it looks horrible, but I really don't care.

Anyhow, on to more important things. I woke up this morning at 4:00 am. That's right... 4. I fell asleep again until about 5:15 and then never really fell sleep again. I felt like I might have been on the verge of sleep right when my alarm woke me up. If I didn't have a group meeting for my Ecology lab, I wouldn't have gotten up. And I still feel like doing very little. I should go make my lunch right now so that I can justify money spent on food this weekend, and the money I will be spending later this week. I just don't feel like it though.

I woke up feeling very frustrated and that feeling has grown over the two hours that I couldn't sleep. Frustrated on many different levels. And I feel like swearing a lot. In the words of my dear roommate when she is frustrated, "Fuck, shit, fuck!". That sums it up quite well.

State: A rainbow of frustration.
Song: This is Everything- Tegan and Sara

Seeing as I haven't done any real posting for awhile I think I'll do one now. I think I can still justify not doing homework right now.

I think I'll start with the pictures of my places and work into the more boring um I mean equally exciting world of school.

Okay so this first picture is of my bed where I do most of my sleeping. Sometimes the bed is used for doing other things such as reading for classes but generally I try and stay away from that as it usually result in me sleeping on the textbook. Sometimes people come in and sit on my bed and talk to me, so I guess you could say that it is a pseudo-couch. I really just wanted to use the work "pseudo".Okay enough about my bed.

This next picture is my desk. I'd like to say that I do a lot of studying here, but I really don't. The only time I got a lot of studying done on that desk was during final exams and frankly I think the desk is tired. I eat breakfast there and do my computer stuff, print off notes for classes and do assignment there but real studying gets done else where. In fact, I don' t think I've studied at this desk all weekend. Man, I'm getting myself far behind. It is so funny how one resolves not to procrastinate during final exams and then that all goes to shit once the new term starts.

The four above pictures are of our living room. Nothing too exciting, very funtional. I mean when you have a big screened tv and numerous DVD's what more could you want?

Okay, this is basically our kitchen. It isn't much but it certainly does the job. I mean our stove works, we have running water and a decent sized fridge. We spend quite a bit of time in here. Sometimes I do homework on the table. For the longest time we only had one kitchen chair. That was quite annoying, but I quickly changed that when I came home from thanksgiving with a chair.

These three pictures are from the area around my house. The first on is of the house behind or in front of ours depending on the direction you come from. The second one is the house on the corner near my house. I walk by it if I ever take the bus to school. The third is a picture of University Ave. Sometimes I walk down this street to go to school. It is much prettier than the main road and I like to look at the houses.

This is the Whyte ave. Before the end of exams last term I had been inside relatively few of the shops that line this street. Mostly, Daley and I just walk up and down and go into Chapters. I mean there isn't much to do here in Edmonton. Really... other than drinking, watching movies and walking there isn't much to do.

So that is about it. This really isn't that exciting of a post but I guess I'll give some recent happening. This weekend has gone by so fast. Really. It feels like yesterday that it was Friday. I had fun on Friday. I have to admit I was very antisocial, but I guess I didn't feel like meeting people and being all fake nice and such. Especially when the people are so drunk they probably won't remember me. It's just not worth the effort. I was entertained by Daley... I'm not sure if he was drunk or not, but he was funny. Or maybe that is just because I was drinking... hmm I don't know. We went to BP's and ordered some food and that was good. Then I came home and watched the end of Dirty Dancing with Lindsay. They we talked for awhile and I went to bed at 3:00 am.

Saturday was rather uneventful. I had no desire to do anything and thus did practically nothing. I hate that. Lindsay's friend Daynika came and I cooked them dinner. It was quite good. Today we went to the Sugarbowl for Brunch and it was good as always.

I have once again done practically no homework. I'm hoping to get more done tomorrow as I am going to school early to meet my group for Ecology. yuck. I'm going to a potluck tonight and that should be fun.

I had a whole bunch of thoughts about how I am feeling and such right now, but this post is already really long and I talk about it later. I'm too tired now.

State: Tired, motivationless, among other feelings
Song: Shut up!- Black Eyed Peas

My plan was... well my plan was to do a lot of thing, but such plans don't always workout. Anyhow, What I wanted to do on here is post some pictures of my place that I have taken in the past little while but I guess that will have to wait for a time where I am less tired and actually want to post.

Wow, I still don't really have anything to say...

State: Where have all my thoughts gone?
Song: Gandalf- Johann De Meij

Wow... look at the ugly colours I got. If you want to take the test it's kinda interesting,
click here to go.

You're an Investor
By focusing on what others need, you learn the exact value and potential of each person in different situations. You instinctively know how motivated others are in supporting you. This helps you surround yourself with the right people.


The passionate you is a fast-thinking, logical self-starter. You ask pertinent questions with a no-nonsense style. Then, you tend to blurt out the obvious. You make sure that essential needs are met and you invent better ways.


The centered you contemplates how to better direct your life. You know the advantages and consequences of taking an action. When all is quiet within, you decide where to make positive changes.


The emotional you needs to feel grounded. Reality can be disappointing. Accept each situation's truth and each person's motivation before you act. Ensure that your empowering determination is focused on agendas that can be accomplished.

I'm going to go make supper now... perhaps I will actually post later today.

State: Hungry

It's weird. I really haven't felt like posting anything for awhile. I have no idea why. I just haven't. My head hurts right now and I think it is because I am dehydrated.

It's so hard to get back into posting when one has been negligent for so long.

So this is it for now.

Song: Extraordinary- Liz Phair
State: My head is pounding and thus I am off to bed...

Okay, I just spent the past few hours looking at job postings mainly for the summer. It's insane how many jobs for the summer must be applied for right now in order to get them. I applied for a few government jobs and that's it for now. I think I shall contact my reference people to make sure they still remember me and are willing to give a reference.

Today, rather, yesterday was fun. I got to see Rachel for the first time since Christmas and that was really fun. I also studied with Daley for awhile and probably got more done than I normally would have.

Anyhow I'm tired and have no real insights to anything right now so I am going to bed.

State: Tired... and it's my own fault
Song: California- Phantom Planet

Well I'm going to post only because I haven't. I have not much to say right now. Bought all of my books. There weren't very many but they were expensive.

Lindsay lands today. Actually, she's probably landed right about now. I'm going to go shower so I don't look completely horrible when she comes.

Until next time when I have more to say....