Hmmm... I just watched American Beauty. That movie never ceases to amaze me. Every time I watch it, I see something that I didn't see the last time. I always feel better about life after watching that movie.

I'm half-way caught up on my Wall of Work... which was, of course, cause for celebration. Lindsay and I walked to Safeway and picked ourself up some ice cream. Some Hagen Daaz ice cream to be precise. And you know what I found out tonight that really shocked me? There is no GST on ice cream. So I guess the canadian government deams ice cream to be a necessity. Well good on them. Too bad they don't consider feminine products necessary.

I don't really have much to say other than, I was pretty happy today. For the first time in a long time, I was happy sitting down reading my boring textbooks. And you know what, they weren't even that boring. For the first time in a long time, things feel right in my life. And that feel good.

State: Contented
Song: Dancing Bag Song- American Beauty

Okay... I just posted my post from last night because the internet wasn't working last night. Now I am going to do what I said I'd so last night:
The wall of work, by popular (well maybe not popular) demand:

Now I am going to go shopping for supper food and other food so I must be off!

State: Much better

Has anyone seen the movie Beyond the Valley of the Dolls? So Lindsay and I were watching Sex and the City and we kinda just kept watching and we ended up watching one of the weirdest, almost porn movies - well knowing Bravo it probably was porn.

It was weird because it wasn't quite graphic, it didn't quite have a story line, and yeah. And at the end- there were MORALS! Lindsay and I killed ourselves laughing. It was great. Ashley- this really whorish/porn star girl never knew the true meaning of love because she took advantage of boys and didn't have any regard for their feelings. The commentator guy went through all the "bad" characters and said what went wrong in their lives and what the "moral" of the story was.

I kind of think Austin Powers was loosely based on the movie.... or movies like it.

And you know the begining of "Smoke Two Joints" by Sublime- with the talking at the begining? The talking bit is from this movie. Lindsay looked at me funny when I started reciting the lines...

A memorable line : "I'd like to strap you on."- Whorish Ashley

Oh and, I can't forget :
Dirty old man: "Would you like something stronger than that?"( refering to non-alcoholic drink)
Kelly: "Yes, I would but they don't serve that at bars"

Okay I am going to sleep... hard to believe I am still awake.

Goodnight everyone... hope everyone had a groovy Friday night!

State: Exhausted but happy
Song: Incenses and Peppermints by ? it is on the Austin Power 1 soundtrack and this movie as well

Well, seeing as I am still awake I figured I would write something in here. I just finnished my lab report and while I think it is okay- I don't feel I'll get much higher than 60 something on it. I don't know. It just seems like a 60 something paper. Or maybe expectations are too high? Although I've never gotten 60 something on any lab report before this. Wow... I've blabbed on and on about nothing. But the evil that is my ecology lab report is over. sigh. That is until about two weeks from now, when I have another due. I'd like to think I'll start that one sooner and avoid pulling all nighter to finish them but I don't know. Pulling all nighters and lab reports seem to go hand in hand for me. Maybe I've conditioned myself into doing it this way. But that really isn't true. I didn't stay up nearly this late for my micro labs, probably because I found them more interesting to write. Sigh... I think that was my problem tonight. That and stupid excel.

I guess I should go to sleep for the half-hour fourty-five minutes I'll get. yay for morning labs.

okay I have said nothing of use, but I'm sure i probably entertained a few... if not at least people won't bug me about updating.

State: Sleepdrunken
Song: none

Okay some people want me to update so I guess I will. I want to implement a reward system for doing my homework.

I've been wondering about stuff lately. Psych sure puts a lot of ideas into my head. I wish I wasn't so tired so I could actually write everything that is blazing through my head right now. Self-perception is a powerful thing. I'm wondering if what we perceive ourselves as is what we really are? Or do we become what we perceive of ourselves? Would altering one's self-perception alter how other people see the person or would the world's perception remain the same?

Anyhow that is all for now. Sorry it isn't longer.

State: Pensive
Song: Song off of Lindsay's CD that I can't remember the name of

Time for an update... well at least a short one. It is late and I am tired. I had a great reading break. I think it topped Christmas break by far. Because I saw everyone(almost- sorry Dietrie) I wanted to see and it wasn't long enough for me to get depressed about anything.

I went out to laser quest with Wei and Craig tonight. Then we decided to meet Jen P. and her boyfriend at Ducky's for a night a Kareokee. Man, that was fun. I am definately checking out the kareokee again. Good times. I even danced a bit with Craig- and I would have got up to sing but they wouldn't let craig go again so I didn't. Maybe next time. And there will be another time.

Okay off to bed. I'm super tired and I am leaving on the 11 am bus tomorrow so I have to be up in like 6 hours. Goodnight everyone and hopefully your reading breaks were as good as mine. I am hoping I am not going to regret all this fun when I have to work super hard next week to catch up :)

State: Happy... tired and I smell like an ashtray
Song: Bohemian Rhapsody- Queen

Now that I am done stuff I should have done before going out, I will go to bed.

Saw Ricki and Micki today and met Dave.

Heard lots of news tonight, but I don't feel like putting it up for all to see, I think I will just go to bed.

Goodnight!

Okay, here is my update as I haven't really written anything here for awhile. I had a wonderful time out at Caitlin's cabin. It was very relaxing and I really didn't want to leave. Thanks again to Caitlin for having us our there!

I have mostly recovered from the soreness that comes after one has not skied/snowbladed for awhile so that is good.

I have changed the look of my blog. Most of the design is mine, although I used another template and modified it a bunch to get this. So it really doesn't look anything like the orignal. The top picture of the sidebar is University Ave in Edmonton, the second obviously the Eiffle tower and the last one is one of the Iles Medes in spain. I took all three pictures, although I might not have taken the bottom one. It might be Lindsay, Jane or Michael who took that one.

Okay I've blabbled on enough about nothing... I think I am going to go read my book for awhile before my mom gets home.

State: Hungry, but happy.
Song: Nothing right now....

Hmm I'm tired and yet I still am awake. It doesn't make any sense. I've been awake since 6:30 this morning. In fact I was awake until 2:30 this morning.

Bus to Calgary packed.

It's reading week. yay.

Ecology still sucks.

But life goes on...

Happy Valentines Day Everyone!

Hope everyone gets all the cinnimon hearts they can eat, because thats the most important thing about St. Val's day.

Okay. I'm going to sleep. Right now.

Goodnight World!

State: Beyond tired... or maybe even tired represented in the multidimention hyperspace (and yes that hoopla about hyperspace was on my Ecology midterm)
Song: Bubble Toes- Jack Johnson

I just had my Genetics 275 midterm and I think it went well. I didn't get the same horrible feeling I got prior to my genet 270 exam so lets hope that is a good sign.

I really should go eat lunch now. And study for 208. Goodness knows that I won't do well on that one if I don't study my ass off for it.

I'm stuck at school for the night... Safewalking at 7 I think... although I should go check on that to make sure.

Wow those three sentences all start with I.

Until next time...
State: Still buzzed from my exam...
Song: Rainy Days- Guster

Today was going well until I got my 270 midterm back. Granted, I knew I hadn't done so hot right after having wrote it so I wasn't really surprised.

I got this e-mail yesterday from Daley and I thought I would immortalize it in my blog for all to see. And then perhaps I will comment. I think a lot of it applies more to one living in rez... and also more after first year... but I've felt pretty much everything in this e-mail at some point in the past two years. Okay, here it is:

Are we ready?

A year has past and now we stand on the brink of returning to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything, and yet nothing being the same.

In two months we will reluctantly give our hugs and, fighting the tears, say goodbye to people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to before we ever left. We will leave our best friends to return to our best friends.

We will go back to the places we came from and go back to the same things we did last summer and every summer before that. We will come into town on that same familiar road, and even though it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday. As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as you reflect on the way your life has changed and the person you have become. You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest now, no one at home will completely understand. The memories and the stories from school won't mean anything to anyone at home and yet you resent them for that, that they can't share that happiness with you. Who will you call first? What will you do your frist weekend home with your friends? How long before you actually start missing people barging in without calling or knocking? Who will get pizza at three in the morning with you now? How long until you adjust to sleeping alone in a room again?

Then you start to realize how much things have changed, and you realize the hardest part of university is blancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave behind. In the matter of one day's travelling time, we will leave our world of living next door to our best friends, walking across campus to eat, instant messenger, 8:30am classes, and the perpetual procrastination to a world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact that we lived in it for eightteen years.

But it is different now. We now know the meaning of true friendship. We know who we have kept in touch with over the past year and who we hold dearest in our hearts. We've left our high school world to deal with the real world. We've had our hearts broken, we've fallen in love, we've helped our best friends overcome depresison, stress and death, and we've stayed up all night on the phone just to talk to a friend in need. There have been times when we've felt so helpless being hours away form home when we know our families needed us, and there are times we know we have made a difference.

Two months from now we will leave. Two months form now we take down our pictures, and pack up our clothes. No more going next door to do nothing for hours on end. We will leave our friends whose random email and phone calls will bring us to laughter and tears this summer. We will take our memories and dreams and put them away for now, saving them for our return to this world. Two months from now we will arrive. We will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families. We will drive over to our best friend's house and do nothing for hours on end. We will return to the same friends whose random emails and phone calls have brought us to laughter and tears over the year. We will unpack old dreams and memories that have been put away for the past year.

In two months we will dig deep inside to find the strength and conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close. And somehow, in some way, we will find our place between these two completely different worlds.

Are you ready?

I don't know, I just found it very moving and I guess so honest and true to what you actually go through when you move home after being away for awhile. I find that its weird to live with my mom again, which is odd because I've pretty much always got along with her. But living with parents is so much different from living on your own. For the first little while last year, I felt so out of place being home again- it was so normal and yet at the same time I think I had changed so maybe the way I perceived home was different. I mean, I changed between high school and university- but the change was gradual and I was in the same environment. Hmm... I'm not sure what I am getting at... anyhow it doesn't matter. I know how I feel and even if I can't quite express it here, as long as I know it doesn't matter.

I need to go study for my genetics 275 exam, lest I repeat my awful performance. Maybe I'll post more later... maybe, maybe not.

State: Disappointed in myself
Song: none

Okay so my post for tonight... I didn't get much done this weekend and that sucks a lot. Especially because other than theater sports, i didn't really do anything fun. And both Lindsay and I are in the most HORRIBLE PMS-y moods ever, and really I don't think most people would want to be around us right now.

I've honestly not felt this crappy due to PMS in awhile. It's almost frightening how all consuming it is. I broke down into tears earlier for no reason. And for some reason taking some silly quiz on geekyness made me feel better.

I've been listening to four songs on repeat for the past few hours. At first they made me sad, but now they are almost comforting and I don't want to turn it off. But I should... and go to bed.

State: Still in this major PMS rut...
Songs: Deliver Me- Sarah Brightman, Globes and Maps- Something Corporate, Sick Cycle Carousel- Lifehouse, and Prayer of St Francis- Sarah McLaughlan

You are 48% geek

You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator. Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend. You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You'll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines! Geek [to You]: I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals! You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

Apparently I am less of a geek than I thought I was....

I went to theater sports last night and that was pretty fun, although not nearly as entertaining as the pants, no pants night.

I'm mad at myself. I didn't get nearly as much done today as thought I would. Oh well, there is always tomorrow. Or today really. I haven't posted since "thursday" night or friday morning you might say. Well, I guess PMS hit me harder this month than it has in awhile. It was pretty bad today too. I was an emotional wreck. And it didn't help that I couldn't get my computer to work when I wanted it too. It was working all fine this morning.... even read this acticle on the BBC :
BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Mice produce sperm from monkeysBut around 2:30 it stopped working. Lindsay's computer wasn't connecting at first too, but then we got hers back online and mine still wasn't biting. I "repaired" the connection vis Lindsay's computer and then checked for a connection and apparently I was connected, but I couldn't use anything that involved the connection. So I fucked around trying to get it to work until about 5 pm, when I said fuck it and decided to watch Sex and The City. I turned my computer off and left it there. I came back after watching Sex and The City, turned it on and presto internet was working again. Who knows why it is working now but wasn't before.

This completely wrecked my "homework" flow and I have proceed to do almost nothing tonight, despite being advised to do otherwise. I really shouldn't blame my lack of working on an inanimate object suck as my dear computer, but it is far easier than feeling guilty about it myself and it's not like shaw or my computer can feel the guilt trip I am giving them. I'm totally against guilt trips, unless they are directed toward inanimate objects. Yeah, the last thing I need is to feel guilty about something. That would completely zap my homework mojo I plan on having tomorrow.

I'm also starting to think I am a boring person. Although I know this isn't true... but I think my initial personality when I meet someone is rather dull as I am uncomfortable and show no personality around them. And if I continue to feel unconfortable, I continue to be boring...

I have no idea where this is going only that I know I am really tired and that I probably should sleep so that I don't start saying even crazier things.

Oh right- one more thing. I figured out why I hate PMS'ing so much. Okay- so you feel really bitchy and you know that if you don't think about what you are going to say next you'll probably say something you regret. So you have to think about what you are going to say, which frankly, stresses me out because I never think before I speak.

Okay... so maybe not one more thing: I did this quiz and here is my result:



Goodnight all! Hope everyone's weekend is going well or at least better than mine.

State: Bitchy- PMS'ing hardcore
Song: Globes and Maps- Something Corporate (what can I say,Daley, it got stuck in my head)

So today was... meh. good for the first half although I was really tired and it went downhill from about half way through my genetics 270 seminar. I'm not sure why I started to feel so crappy at that point, but I did. And I still feel crappy. Maybe I'm hungry. But I don't think it is that. It's like the sick feeling you get when you feel guilty about something. I have no clue what I'd be feeling guilty about right now though. Usually I know. hmmm I feel like I was such a bitch for the last half of this day. Well from about when I got home until now. Maybe that's it. I feel mean, and yet I have talked to very few people and probably said very few mean things. It is that irritable feeling. That feeling that the next words out of your mouth will be snappy and mean and you feel like you have no way of stopping it.

Fuck, I hate feeling this way. I think it may be partially due to not getting enough sleep last night, so to any of those who encounter me tomorrow.... beware. Lisa is not pleasant on the amount of sleep she will have had by tomorrow. But if you want to have lunch with me, Daley, I think I'm be hanging out in front of my lecture theater in Education or I'll be in CAB. Education if I feel this irritable after my lab. But you don't have to come if you don't want to be around me.

Oh and I think I may have said yes to going to see Sarah McLaughlin in concert on September 10 in Vancouver. I really must be in a funny mood because I said yes to Lindsay (not roommate) almost instantly and I usually like to resist with her even though I almost always end up giving in. I think its because it's Sarah McLaughlin and I like crazy plans that will cost me lots of money. Besides, I probably won't see them all summer as they will probably be staying in Victoria in their new condo. So it will be nice to visit. I'm not sure where I am going to be for the summer. If I didn't have to rent here or secure a place to live here for next year, I'd probably go back to Calgary. But it is such a bother to find a place to live. I just as soon stay. Especially if Lindsay is coming back next year. Then I'll just charge her for storage and pay my half of the rent. And maybe find someone to sublet with me...who knows. It's to late to be thinking about such things when I should be sleeping.

Oh yeah... I might be going to Theater Sports tomorrow, or I guess technically today. That should be fun. I think I'll only go if I get enough work done tomorrow though.

Okay... I really should go sleep. goodnight.

State: Fucking tired/irritated/crappy
Song: none

I had a pretty good day today. I enjoyed ALL of my classes today. Even ecology. we looked a parasites today in Ecology. This is the URL to the site we looked at:BBC NEWS | Health | Invasion of the Bodysnatchers. I think parasites are soooo cool. I think I want to take a course on them.

Anyways then I had my Safewalk shift and that was a lot of fun too. And I should go to bed... but I can't seem to stop reading articles on BBC and thus am not ready for bed.

Don't feel like sharing anything personal tonight....so I won't.

State: happy for no apparent reason
Song: Sick Cycle Carousel

Another day, another exam. Biochem went well, but I'm fooling myself if I think I actually care about the subject. I don't, and I am only studying it because I have to. The only thing I really care about is my mark in that course so that it doesn't ruin my good GPA.

I have my genetics 270 exam today. I feel prepared and yet underprepared. I think I've studied as much as I can for it so I guess we will just have to see what see asks. The practice exam was relatively easy, but I never look at those as being a good representation anymore. I've been burned by having false expectations and not studying enough. Anyhow, I'm more nervous for this one because I actually care about genetics. Which is good.

Crazy dreams last night. I'd go into detail... but I don't feel like it.

I've had some thoughts I don't have time to express right now on here, but I think I will come back later and do that.

State: Nervous
Song: Hey Ya- Outkast

This is our wall to try and motivate us not to cram... lets see if it works...

State: Sick of cramming

Okay I said I'd put a picture of my cookies up because I am cruel... so here it is:

and now I'm going to go study...

Okay... so I've crammed all day and once again I say I'll never do this to myself again... but I will. But no... I can't. Fuck, I'm soooo tired, I can't even think straight.

Here's a link to a forensic science program that looks kinda cool. Maybe I'll do this after I get my first degree. BCIT ~ Forensic Investigation (Forensic Science Option): Part-time, Bachelor of Technology

Lindsay and I made oatmeal cookies today and they were awesome. I promise I'll post a picture of them tomorrow. I took such a pretty picture.

Okay... i'm cram-drunken right now so I think I'll go to sleep.

goodnight world...

State: Cram-drunken
Song: Piano Man- Billy Joel