So today was the perfect day to do lots of thinking. I went out with Phil for lunch. That was fun, it is nice to catch up with people from High school. He's grown taller than he was, if you can imagine that.

Later on today, I sat and read my book and thought about relationships. I think I have a relationship phobia. I'm scared, as most people are, of rejection. But I'm so scared of this rejection that it prevents me from doing anything when I am interested in somebody. At the same time, it causes me to close myself off when I sense someone else might be interested in me. I think it is becuase of this phobia that I am often attracted to guys that I can't have (not single, gay, different city) because these guys are safe. Because they are not available I do not have to worry about them hurting me. Sigh... so it is my goal to get over this retarded fear of relationships that was instilled in me four long years ago... I am going to do everything in my power to develop a healthy attitude toward relationships as the one I have right now does not serve me very.

Anyhow, I guess that is all I have been thinking about lately. I got into my lab course which is good news. I don't have to worry about that anymore. Now I just need to know if I have somewhere to live next year.

I guess I'll write more when I have more revelations...

State: Pensive
Song: My Number- Tegan and Sara
Book: Dune Messiah- Frank Herbert