On thinking...

I have so many thoughts running thought my head. Getting together with old friends tends to get me into this nostalgic/thinking/philosophical mode. yesterday was Ricki's wedding and it was beautiful and also made me feel old. When friends start having babies and getting married you start feeling the years creep up on you.

I started thinking about high school (seeing old high school friends does this) and everthing we all went through. I'm always amazed that no matter what obstacles I have faced since high school, no matter how low I have felt in the past year- nothing can compare to how I felt in Grade 11. I started thinking about where I am in my life. I'm so much happier now, most of the time at least. Half the time can't even remember how horrible Grade 11 was, because I seemed to have blocked most of the memories out of my mind, a form of protection I guess. the only place all of the memories life on are in my journals, as biased of an account that they may be.

Then I got to thinking of where I am right now. I'm going into my 3rd year of a genetics degree that half the time I am positive I will go on to be a genetic counsellor with and the other half of the time I see myself doing something else. I'm not sure what else- but definately helping people in some way. That is actually the only think I do know about what I want to do with my life. I relaly want to help people. That seems to be the only unifying thought in my mind. I don't think I want to end up in the lab as much as I like lab work sometimes.

Then I started thinking about what I would do immediately upon graduating, if I couldn't get a job in my field. Plan 1 includes getting a job as a flight attendant to help pay off my student loans. And plan 2, is to try and get a job as one of those counsellors that help university students pick their courses.

And for the grand finale- I really started thinking philosophy. I mean - I started to ask myself- Do I believe in destiny? Sometimes I think I do. Then I was thinking- is it possible to believe in destiny and in free choice? I mean if everything in destined then no choice is ever really free? I either believe in destiny or reincarnation. I think what I beleive is more reincarnation. Some people you meet, and you feel very confortable with them almost immediately- like you've known them before in another life. I know it sounds weird, but I swear that there are people in my life that are like that. The first time I met them I felt immediately at ease to tell them everything. On the same wavelenght of thought, I was also thinking about how I found it much easier to bear my soul to people when I was a teenager. Perhaps it was because of my very intact teenage invincibilty complex thinking I wouldn't get hurt and getting hurt. Maybe now that I am older, I am more guarded because now I know how it all feels... I don't know. I relaly wish I was less tired. I think I would write more if I wasn't...

In other less important news....
The quest for the lemon juicer is over. My mom bought me one at Zellers for 2$. Or something life that.

Anyhow I am going to head off to bed. Goodnight!

State: Exhausted but pensive...
Book: A year in Provence- Peter Mayle