I woke up this morning, and for the first time in a long time I felt well rested and not tired. If only this feeling would last all day.

Update on the state of my health: I'm starting to feel better. I mean I'm still tired a lot of the time- usually toward the end of the day where I have to fight to stay up to my self enforced 9 pm bedtime. I sleep usually about 10-11 hours a night. I usually have a 2 hour nap sometime during the day. So obviously, seeing how much I sleep I am not completely healthy yet. But being anemic and have mono at the same time will make you tired. I have a feeling I would already be feeling much better if it weren't for the mono.

Yesterday, I went to Brooks to pick up some clothes seeing as I am going to be here for awhile. That's right for all of you who are worried about seeing me before I head back to Brooks- don't worry. I won't be going back to work anytime soon. Not until I have enough energy to be on my feet for at least 8 hours. I got my birthday present from Lindsay and that was nice. I know certain people who are really going to like Lindsay, even though they haven't met her yet.

In other news, if I continue to improve, I think I am going to make a trip up to Edmonton to see Ryan next weekend. But that is only if I feel pretty good. I mean I don't want to get myself sicker with travel. I'm excited and I think it is good to have a goal for getting better.

Tomorrow, I get to go for my first blood tests since having them everyday when I was in the hospital. How exciting! I actually am excited for Thursday, when I find out if this feeling better is because my hemoglobin levels have gone up. I hope they have.

Sorry, if all I talk about is getting better. Honestly, my life is pretty boring. I sit at home watching movies and walking around "to get my strenght back". I eat, sleep and have no social life. That is really what is killing me. I'm a social being, and I have been deprived of socialization. That hopefully will stop soon. I guess I'll have to change my bedtime if I want more of a social life. OR con people into seeing me in the morning, when I have lots of energy. Either or.

Anyhow...that's all for now.

State: Getting better

I'm sick of being sick. Sure I'm home from the hospital but only because I am not sick enough for them to keep me there anymore. I mean I still don't feel like myself again. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever feel like myself again.

I don't know how people deal with having cancer. I feel so weak(in mind/soul) compared to them. I'm sitting here, crying, thinking poor me and there are people that are suffering far worse than I in the world. Yet, thinking about them, still doesn't make me feel any better. It makes me feel like a horrible person for still feeling the way that I do. I feel so isolated. I haven't seen any of my friends since I have been back because of being too sick. Honestly, I'd give anything to be well enough to see one of my friends right now. It was so great to talk to Craig on the phone last night. Finally, I felt like I was connecting with someone outside my immediate family. On the note of family- they have been great through this whole ordeal. I saw my aunt that I rarely see, my sister and nephew, my Dad and Carol. Really it is amazing how you don't see family until something bad happens.

One thing, although I am feeling lonely, bored, restless, being sick has given me a greater appreciation for life.

I'm going to Brooks tomorrow to pick up some more clothing. Not that it will fit me properly. I'm 12 pounds lighter than I was when I went into the hospital. The funny things is, everything still fits me around the waist. It is just too big elsewhere. Actually, in all honesty, my clothing (except for my jeans) fits me better than it did before I got sick. My jeans are really baggy and they aren't supposed to fit like that.

Anyhow, I think that it enough complaining/ranting for today. I'll probably post again tomorrow. Or maybe not. We'll see. My snack calls so bye for now.

So I'm still alive. But I just spent from about the last time I posted until yesterday in the hospital in Calgary. I ended up with the complications that can arise with the E. coli infection. Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome to be exact. That is why I was so bloated. But now I am not. I weigh 10 pounds less than what I did before I got this which makes a lot more sense. Seeing as you know, I didn't eat for a week and a bit.

In the hospital, while I did get better, those doctors and their drugs managed to give me the symptoms of Parkinson's Disease. They are going away now that I am off the drug, but I still can't type very fast.

To top it all off, I ended up with mono. That is what I am fighting right now. Why am I up so early? Because I go to bed at like 8:30 pm because I am so tired all the time. Luckily, the mono hasn't given me much of a sore throat (knock on wood)so I am still able to eat.

Thanks to those of you who commented while I was in the hospital. I checked my e-mail when I could, but I never really had anything and that was kind of sad. I would have sent out some sort of mass e-mail, saying hey I'm sick- leave me messages because the hospital is lonely, but I was too tired. And I am am finally getting tired again, so I will leave this post at this and hope to hear from you all at some point. I'm still in Calgary, so just give me a call at my mom's. I might not feel like talking much, but it is the thought that counts.

State: Tired

So I'm alive. Not that anyone was concerned that I was dead, I mean people usually don't assume the worst when someone hasn't posted on here for awhile. Well, I'm not dead- but I could have been. Some of you who don't know are probably asking yourself-what? Could have been dead? Hold your horses and let me explain.

My first week of work went fine. They didn't let us do anything really because they wanted us to get used to the lab environment before they start letting us work with samples all the time. I came home for Mother's day and on Saturday I started to feel sick. I thought it might have been from the Denny's I had that morning, but really there wouldn't have been enough time for any of the food to make me that sick. The next day I started to feel a little better, but not for long. By 9 pm that evening, I felt more horrible than I had before. I took some advil and when to sleep. I woke up about 3 hours later with violent cramping and diarrhea. I wasn't going to go to work, but my roommate (and co-worker)was going and she said she felt sick too. So I drove us to work for our 5 am start time. We both lasted an hour before we had to go home. I drove us to IGA, we bought sick food (gatorade and chicken soup) and I went home and lay down on my bed only getting up to go to the bathroom. The cramping was becoming unbearable. Then, around 10 am I noticed I was bleeding from somewhere one should never bleed. That is when I told my roommate, that I wanted her to drive me to the hospital, because at this point the cramping was so bad I could barely speak.

We got to emergency, and I could barely tell the nurse what was wrong. She told me, "I don't read hands." and finally she directed me to admitting. I got my papers and was sent back to the mean emergency nurse and was able to tell her what was wrong. I was fairly certain at this point that I knew what I had. But they have to test all posibilities. I waited a relatively short time (3 hours- which if you have ever been to emerg, is pretty short) before I saw a doctor. They promply hooked me up to an IV, asked me to give a stool sample and whisked me off to the private room where I would spend the next five days in isolation. Isolation meaning that I wasn't allowed to leave my room.I couldn't even phone my parents long distance to tell them I was in hospital. But my boss fixed that and gave me the company phone for the week. This wasn't so bad at the begining, where I didn't feel like leaving my bed at all. But when I started to feel a little better I felt trapped.

So what did they find I had? E. coli 0157. One of the bacteria that we test for in the lab I work in. I was pretty sure based on my symptoms that this is what I had. What is more is that a day later, my roommate was hospitalized for the same thing. We think that we got it at work- even though we never touched incubated samples. We think that we might have picked it up sorting the samples that we sign in when they come from the plant. It only takes 1-5 cells to cause the infection. If you want to learn more about E. coli 0157 go here. It has a lot of good info.

Now I am in Calgary, recovering. I don't know when I will go back to work. When I can eat a decent amount of solid food and don't feel so weak I guess. I'm very bloated right now. I think it might be from being on IV for 5 days staight. I gained 15 pounds in water. Well it has to be water, because I was on the liquid diet and I could barely keep that down half the time.

I'm sad I got sick, mostly because I was supposed to go up to see Ryan in Innisfail this weekend for his birthday. I miss him a lot, but really I wouldn't be much fun this weekend. If I am feeling better, I might go up next weekend.

Anyhow, we have internet at my place now, so pretty soon I will be able to post a little more regularly.

I get tired really easily, so I think I am going to get off the computer. So hopefully, the next time I post I am in much better health. Perhaps I will post when I can eat pizza again.

State: I don't feel like death anymore

This is just a quick note to say- I'm in Brooks now. I'm working. I'm coming to Calgary tomorrow night. I get internet on the 10th. Perhaps a bigger update when I get to Calgary... Oh things are going good just- I just have crappy dial up internet so I won't be posting for awhile.

I managed to pull off the mark I needed in physiology (B+) to get my 3.5 and get on the dean's list so that made me happy. I'm must have really pleased the physiology gods with my 13 hour homage/sacrifice to them. I studied from 11am to 1 am the night before that exam. I made up for never once opening my book during the course of the semester. Take that year long horrible, awful useless course that I don't remember anything from!

State: tired, but good