I was way too tired to put any sort of post together last night so I figure now is as good a time as any. Actually, I'm still kind of tired and sort of out of it so yeah...

Anyhow, on with the story. I started leg two of my coast to coast journey last Tuesday. Our flight was late leaving Calgary due to some child that was too scared to fly and therefore they had to remove their bags. I honestly didn't care because I had a four hour layover in Toronto. Yes, you saw right- 4 hours. Honestly, I don't know why I stayed in the secure part of the airport (in Terminal 3) because as I quickly found out, although terminal three is rather large, it contains very little in the way of stores/eating places. Not compared to the much smaller secure area of the Calgary airport which happens to have a decent sized food court and a pointless moving sidewalk. At least the airport had lots of those to play on... lol. All and all it was a most wonderful airport to get a lot of work done in. I have almost finished all of my reading for the term in my witchcraft class. That would be two 200 page books worth of reading. It is amazing what you can get accomplished in airports.

I think my flight leaving Toronto was late too. I forget why- something to do with the crew not being there fast enough. Anyhow... we weren't too late and made up a good half hour in lateness. I met a nice guy on the plane from Halifax who was visiting his girlfriend in Toronto. He was quite interesting and we shared a common love for Calgary. He is the first person not native to Calgary that I have met that found it easy to find his way around. He also found Edmonton confusing which I think I did too when I first moved here.

So we got into Halifax at 10:40 pm and I think we stayed up until 3:30 pm chatting. It was nice to visit. But we only got up at noon because of this. I have a theory that I kind of lived on Alberta time the whole time I was there.

The next day we made our way downtown to the Maritime Museum where I learned all about the Halifax explosion. Call me sheltered but I didn't know that in 1917 Halifax was the site of largest man made explosion before Hiroshima.This site has more info on the explosion and the damaged caused by it.

That night we had a gathering of people with Jane's friends. This was the night that I got accused of having fake ID at the liquor store. He said it looked fake because of the way the birthday is raised. I told him it was a security feature, but apparently that wasn't in the book.

So we sat around told jokes, socialized and read really bad erotica. I didn't think anything could be worse than Harlequin, but the best of 1993 Erotica managed to beat it. Apparently, 1993 wasn't a good year for erotica.

The next day we went out on the bus to York Redoubt. It was pretty cool. Very fortified and lots of cannons. It was also cool that we could take the bus out to somewhere that remote. That night we went over to Eric's house and played Settlers of Catan. I won, or at least I think I did. Only after I got people off my back at the beginning and laid low until toward the end.

Friday, we toured around the country side to see the sites. Only the sites were a little hard to see in the blizzard. We went to Peggy's Cove which looked like the picture except grey and blizardy. I have to say it was really fun seeing the sites at a time when most people don't see them. We saw a few more beaches, had some warm drinks at the bakery in a small place that wasn't peggy's cove and went back to Halifax. That night, we could have gone to a party, but he decided to just hang out at home and Jane and Craig did homework... for a bit and then we played Wizard. After a bit, just before Jane's friends came over at 2:00 am we finished off the rum I bought with my "fake" ID (Jane ate her rum in apple sauce) and then we socialized for a bit- until like 3:30 am and went to bed.

I woke everyone up at 10:30 the next day, in an effort to actually get to the farmer's market before it closed. We got there before it closed, but not much before. I bought 3 pounds of Mac apples for 2$ and some fudge. Then we took a tour of the Keith's Brewery. The tour was actually kind of cute. For a virtual tour, just click on the brewery button and take the virtual tour. Then we wandered around downtown and I found a place that sells Yerba Maté tea.

Early Sunday morning (4:55 am) I boarded the Airbus to the airport and left Halifax late at 8:00 am. It didn't matter because our plane was late coming in from Cuba so my flight to Calgary was delayed.

Got back to Edmonton last night... and now I am really really really tired. But must do homework. So... I guess I will go make dinner now:)

State: Very Tired
Song: Farewell To Nova Scotia

So I figured that while I am up late doing laundry for part two of my Coast to Coast TREK, I would give a little run down of how part one of the trip (the Pacific coast)went!

I arrived in Victoria at approximately 1:00 pm on Friday afternoon. It was sunny and warm (+10C) and my winter jacket was quickly thrown to the back seat of the car and later hung up and forgotten for the remainder of the trip. The weather for the whole weekend was simply amazing! Of all the times I have been to Victoria during a reading break, I don't think it has ever been that nice. Not a cloud was seen in the sky for the whole 4 days. And those of you who know Victoria, know that this is a feat unto itself.

On Friday, we went out for really good sushi and then tried to see Leeroy Stagger play at Lucky Bar, but alas the opening band only started playing at 11 and they were horrible and there was still another band to come on before Leeroy, so one of Lindsay's friends bought both of his albums and we left and listened to him on the way home in the car.

On Saturday, I forced Lindsay to get up early so that we could go have breakfast in Victoria with other Lindsay (we will call her Linds for the sake of not confusing you) and Michael. The food was awesome- Blue Fox Cafe, I highly recommend it. But the service was kind of slow. Oh well, it was all worth it when we got our French toast topped with fruit and cream cheese sauce... mmmm. Then we drove back to Duncan and went out to dinner with Erin and Alan(Lindsay's boy). Dinner was good... Then we watched Troy which may not be true to the story, but we highly enjoyable if only for its hot man factor. Mmmmm Brad Pitt wearing next to nothing. What more can I say? Then we had a good long chat about sex (something I miss a lot not having Lindsay around) and ended up going to bed around 2 in the morning.

Sunday, we tried to sleep in. I succeeded, Lindsay didn't. Later, we went hiking in The East Sooke Regional Park. I believe we did the Coast Trail. It was absolutely breathtaking! We even saw a seal bathing in the sun on the rocks. After the hike, we made some delicious supper and then decided we wanted to use up the bananas in banana bread and muffins. I made the bread and she made the muffins. While the muffins were baking, we fixed my Dairy Queen deprivation and went home to finish our baking. By the time our baking was done it was time to for bed.

Monday, Lindsay brought me to the airport for my flight that was going to leave at 1:15 pm. So I got to the airport at 12:15. Only our flight didn't leave until 4:30, a good 3h 15min late. This was due to the weather in Toronto. Which makes me a little concerned about my flight tomorrow being on time. Anyhow... I should go check on my laundry. Until at least 5 days from now...

State: Tired

Okay I did something totally out of character and what I consider to be something really stupid last night. But as of right now, I don't regret a moment of my time not spent studying. Why? Because I feel so much more focused now. I'm not sure if it is focus so much as panic but I'll take what I can get. The truth of the matter is I've studied more for more exam from about 1:00 am until now than I have all week for my midterm. And at the rate I was going, I wasn't going to study at all. And that would have been really horrible.

So you are probably all wondering what this stupid thing Lisa did was? Well, if you really want to know. After having a particularly horrible horrible lab where I ended up counting a whole vial of flies TWICE, I decided, why not go out for a beer after my lab? The thing is... one beer turned into well seeing as only four of us went out after the lab and only three of us were drinking beer and three pitchers were bought and drank over the course of 3 hours... one beer turned into a pitcher. It was only when I was walking home (stumbled, whatever) that I noticed the drunkenness truly set in. It is funny, because the last time I was as drunk as I was last night was the night I went out with Jane and Eric and could barely walk home. Beer seems to have that effect on me. Moral of the story, if you want to see me drunk, don't give me tequila. Give me 3 pints of beer or a pitcher. I have to drink a lot more tequila to get to the same place. And I love the fact I feel very little hangover after drinking beer. Yay water content :)We decided that we should plan to go out on the Friday after our next lab, to be a little more responsible and so more people come. And we were thinking of inviting the thurs/fri lab too because they would be done their lab too.

And it was really nice to sit and talk about my field about people who are equally passionate. And I didn't feel like a big nerd or geek or like I was only talking about one thing all night. We talked about more than just genetics. We talked about our families, experiences etc. Apparently there are people in the other lab that come to lab stoned. Honestly, I have no clue how they could do one of our labs high, not to mention how dangerous that would be. I mean we work with HIGHLY mutagenic substances. I mean they would have to be to do the cool things they do to DNA. Sometimes, I can barely keep everything straight when I am sober. Then again, my results are half decent whereas theirs probably suck. So these are the things you learn when you go out for beer with the TA.

But I feel much more sober now that I have had a three hour nap. I've also studied a good hour of witchcraft and I am planning on going early tomorrow and studying more. (we'll see, depends on how fast I fall asleep) It is funny how doing something fun the night before a midterm makes you feel all focused and ready to study for it. Anyhow... I am going to sleep again for a little while and get up and study more.

Mood: pretty good right now
Song: Virus of the Mind- Heather Nova

An interesting concept and because everyone else has: (I choose to be a sheep this time)

*******If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, you must post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened.

Then post this in your journal. See what people remember about you...********

Obviously stuff is bothering me. I know because I generally have trouble focusing when stuff bothers me. Like today... I think I studied for an hour. That's not very much considering I have two midterms next week.

If I could afford it, I'd move out on my own next year. I don't know there are things I like and don't like about living here. I mostly only like the fact that I am close and I probably could sublet my place for the summer. I really hate moving every year. My roommates aren't people I could ever be friends with. They are very shallow and all at one point have done things that I have't liked. Mainly, they are often inconsiderate of the fact that there is a main floor bedroom by the kitchen. And none of them wanted to take it- I understand why Becky and Lindsay didn't. But Di says she is a light sleeper... but she is the one who is often up late in the living room, she is the one who has people over late in the living room. And she is usually up before the rest of us anyways. I don't know... out of all of us it would make the most sense for her to have the kitchen room. I like my room and it would be fine with you know, considerate roommates who don't have kitchen parties the night before exams and such. Or living room gatherings with drinking on Sunday nights. Honestly, this will sounds a little anal of me, but I think it would almost be common sense to you know, be quiet by about 12:00 am on a Sunday night.

I am almost considering asking Rachel if she has any spots free in the house she might be getting. At least I'd know that there wouldn't be any Sunday night drunk fests. I mean, sure I'd have to take the bus to school, but I'd almost rather do that then live here another year. I don't know... I'm just considering not living here next year.

Di is really the only person I can't stand. I never thought I'd meet a person that was so loud. And you can imagine I felt like screaming one morning when she told me I was being noisy. I felt like saying, you've obviously never heard how much noise you make in the morning. We are polar opposites. I'm annoyed by almost everything about her. She was mad we made a cleaning schedule. What she wanted to keep doing what we did last term, where Becky and I clean all the time, you clean once or twice and Lindsay doesn't clean at all? Becky and I were like I don't think so. I mean, we don't have to go in order as long as everyone cleans once a month. I'm going this weekend. I mean she can do a couple of weekends in a row when field hockey is over. I know she doesn't like me. Well, I don't like her either. Oh and another thing I hate about her- is how she always thinks she is right. Or how she thinks I am the person that scratches up her pans. I rarely use the pan that is all scratched up. And she always makes a point of being, "Oh my poor pan... its all scratched, people need to stop using metal on this or I'd going to put them away." Newsflash: even really expensive non-stick pans wear-out eventually. Even if you only use teflon on them, friction is friction and we are using them 4 times as much as she was on her own. Four times as much as a normal family would, because you tend to cook only one meal for a family and we each cook four.

So I guess I have ranted enough about my roommates... I guess if I left it would be because of Di. I mean, I'll never be friends with Becky or Lindsay but they don't get on my nerves. And they are both considerate most of the time.

I think the fact that I don't have a job yet for the summer sucks too. I hate that. Ugh... I really need to go to bed. It feels good to rant about something that has been bothering me for awhile.

State: Under the weather

Since the theme of this semester has been PROCRASTINATION... I figured I should write in my blog before studying for my genetics midterm.

Biggest pet peeve for the day: people who don't care to listen. I know I have been guilty of this too, especially when I am deep in concentration about other things or I am doing something that requires deep concentration, but I usually ask the person to repeat themselves because I do care what they are saying. I'm talking about when you are having a conversation with a group of people, and as soon as you start talking it seems like everyone kind of stops listening and then the conversation moves on as if you never said anything. I'm sure I've done it too, and if I have done it to anyone that reads this, I am truly sorry, because I do really hate it. I also hate that I could be guilty of such a thing. I think the only solution, in my case, is to spend less time with these types of people and be conscious enough not to do it myself.

I had a horrible sleep last night. Horrible. I think I maybe slept for 4 hours. I had weird dreams about my lab and missing safewalk because I was at a play and they made me take my shoes off and the play was horrible and we wanted to leave during intermission, but they would give us back our shoes. I just made myself two Chai lattes. They were both really good. But I noticed that I have to use two tea bags of my crappy tetley Chai tea to get it to taste the same as the wonderful loose Chai I bought at Steeps. Their Chai is amazing...

I was going to post something, but I'm too many things right now. Feeling to many things that is to be coherent. I'm tired, annoyed at my stupid "How to think about Weird things" book, frustrated in more than one way, happy, panicked, etc. You get the picture. I'm probably just tired. I'm in need of a good cuddle. I think I'll go cuddle with bear and minou now... aka go to sleep.

State: See above

Today I am starting my top secret operation. Well tomorrow really... and I guess it really isn't top secret, because I am writing about it on here.

The operation involves:

1) Spending more time with people I do feel like I can become close friends with, and not spreading myself so thin. I'd rather have two or three really close friends than 5 or 6 superficial ones. I like having lots of friends and I'm always open to more, but at the same time I need to take this time to get to know the people I have already met. This includes keeping in better touch with my friends in places far from here.

2) Doing things I'm scared to do. Stepping out of my comfort zone or 'off the edge' as Daley put it in his comment. That kind of sounds like jumping off a cliff, but I'm pretty sure he didn't mean it like that. I need to vulnerabilize myself in order to completely be myself so that is what I am going to do.

3) Doing things because I want to do them. This is fairly self explanatory...

4) Having no regrets and being happy with the choices I have made.

5) Continue to have a good sense of humor regarding myself. I'm not sure why, but some of the most fun times I've ever had have been at the expense of myself. I enjoy laughing at myself. Life is too short too take everything seriously.

6) Develop better self-esteem. I think this will come with time and also from surrounding myself with supportive people. Although self-esteem is something one develops on their own, it doesn't hurt to have some people there to support you :)

I think that is all for now. I don't expect to have this all accomplished in a certain amount of time, more that it will be a lifestyle change. Only I can change the way I feel inside and I am the only one who can bring myself out of isolation.

State: not bad
Song: Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson

I'm scared of getting hurt but I guess most people are. Part of me is very bold, part of me can see myself asking a guy out- the part of me that is confident that someone might say yes. The other part of me, the part of me that pushes people away when they get too close, the part that says no to people without even thinking- that part of me is insecure.

I hide behind my geekiness. Yes, I am a geek. I always have been and probably always will be. But it is a much smaller part of who I am than I make it out to be, or than most people probably think. But it is my fault people don't get to know more than that about me. I mean, for a lot of the people I meet at University, all I talk about is school. So, really I haven't given them a chance to know anything more about me really. It is funny, in high school I'd pretty much tell anyone who'd listen everything and everything about myself. I still talk a lot, but I don't disclose as much about myself as I did in high school. I made myself very vulnerable in high school, and I was hurt a few times because of it. What I share with most people now is fairly superficial. But I think this is more of how it should be. The few and select know a lot about me, and most people only know what they need to know. The result of this is me having very few people I am truly close to in Edmonton. And that sometimes can be lonely.

I miss my friends that already know everything about me, the ones that know when I am upset just by looking at me. The ones that you can just get together and do nothing and still have fun. The ones that I never run out of silly things to chat about. The ones that know when I am up for something crazy by the look in my eyes. The ones that don't get scared by my crazy look. At least not usually...

I don't know where I am going with this... Sometimes I guess I feel like I am back in high school, where I feel like I need people to like me. I feel like I need to impress them. I hate that feeling, and I hate the way I act when I feel like that. And I've been feeling like that too much lately. I haven't felt like that since high school and not even that much in high school. More so in junior high.

Hmmm I've lost my train of thought, but I need to start working on all of this or I won't be happy. I mean, if I don't do anything about it I'll end up being depressed or something like that. And that isn't fun at all...

I think I'll head off to bed now as it is quite late!

State: Pensive, but good
Songs: Bulletproof- Blue Rodeo, The Only Living Boy in New York- Simon and Garfunkel

Yesterday, I was trying to find a glass to put some tea in and one of the ones I pulled out had, get this, fruit fly pupae cases on them. I never thought I'd ever see those outside of my lab. It grossed me out to say the least. I put it on the counter to see if people would notice, but no one did. They just loaded the glass into the dishwasher and ran the dishwasher last night. It now has occurred to me, that they might not know what fruit fly pupae look like and for that I do not blame them. I realize it takes a pretty big geeks to be like, "Oh there are some fruit fly pupae cases." Anyhow back to the story...

I'm unloading the dishwasher today, and because our dishwasher sucks, I wanted to see if it managed to get the glass clean. Lo and behold, there were still pupae cases stuck to the side of the glass. I decided right then and there that I was fed up with searching though the cupboard for a clean glass. So I took all of the glasses I felt had enough baked on fruit to possibly grow some more flies on them (even though I probably didn't dirty them to that extent) and gave them one of the best scrubbings they've probably seen all year. So mom isn't lying to you when she says its so dirty there are probably bug growing. (she used to say that to get me to clean my room) Apparently, our glasses were so dirty there were flies growing on them. And that my friends is really, really gross.

I think I had something deep and meaningful to say. But it got scared out of me by seeing stuff I would have preferred to only ever see in the lab, on glasses that I drink water from.

State: grossed out, but good
Song: I don't wanna be- Gavin DeGraw

I was thinking about this on my way to school, and surprisingly I haven't forgotten about it. It is nothing too earth shattering. Something I've just been in denial about because I happen to not enjoy it. What is this thing I speak of? Well, it is actually a subject. I know they always tell you how important math is, but you don't think about that when you are taking an abstract math class. I mean it is hard for me, someone who doesn't like numbers, to make the link between some of the abstract math you learn in school, to stuff that actually matters to me. I'm sure I'm not the only one. For those of us out there that have trouble with math, I think a lot of us have problems with just doing math for the math's sake.

I don't know I guess I rediscovered a tiny place in my heart or maybe my mind for math. I know that sounds really really corny, but ever since I took Linear Algebra, me and math haven't really been on speaking terms. But this term, two of my courses are a little more math based than anything I have taken since first year. Simple math, mind you which could be a big part in why I enjoy it. It made me realize also that almost every useful piece of math knowledge I learned in grade 8. I mean, simple algebra will get you far in life. I even used it in cooking the other day. I guess the other most useful piece of math/chemistry info I learned in grade 12 was unit analysis. Never needed to memorize another formula again.

So I'm not sure why I just spent this entry writing about math, but it seems important, and I honestly wish I had taken calculus because I feel so out of the math loop. My reason for not liking math is stupid really and I should get over it. Although it is frustrating when you make stupid mistakes like switching numbers (ie- 69 becomes 96 or any 6 becomes a 9)because often I'll understand the concept and then still get the wrong answers, so I think I'm doing it wrong but its really because of my tendency to switch numbers. grrr... I'd love to know why I think 6 and then write 9 when I am not paying attention. I've done this as long as I can remember. I almost always catch it though. That and switching b's and d's.

Well, I think I've rambled/wasted enough time so I will get back to my population genetics studying.

State: Decent
Song: Hey Pretty- Poe

Since I'm not doing so hot with the studying of the population genetics I figured I'd post on here.

Today, definitely an interesting day in the lab. All of my male flies but one died on me so I had to add some more. I also managed to set a plate of ethanol on fire and melt some Petri dish and a glass rod together. L'Art Nouveau as my TA called it. Unfortunately, it will be show and tell on Monday which is kind of embarassing. I'll probably turn red and everyone will know it was me. That said, I have a big mouth and most people are going to know it was me by then anyways so really it doesn't matter.

Anyhow, that is all for today. I have nothing too fascinating to divulge today. No deep thoughts today, well maybe not none, but none that I really want to share.

Anyhow... I think I should go at least read over my notes once for the night.

State: good
Song: Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson