Not that admitting it really helps. I guess it is the first step to recovery. I've fallen back into the bad habit of putting things off. It really isn't healthy and frankly, makes me feel awful about myself. Not that feeling awful will help me stop procrastinating. It is a vicious cycle really. I already got my first mark back. I just got my first mark back that was affected by my procrastinating. It wasn't good, but honestly I have no one to blame but myself. Hopefully this isn't a repeat of what happened in 418 where I just couldn't bring my mark up after starting so low. I don't think it is. I know why I did bad. Simple. I did know nearly enough. I think I can come back though. At least I hope I can.
I feel pretty lost right now... I have no idea what I am doing what my life and it scares me, because sometimes I wish I didn't have to think about it. Sometimes I just don't feel like thinking about my future anymore. I still think I want to do occupational therapy, but why can't I motivate myself to volunteer or do something good? I don't know what is stopping me. I'm scared that my biggest obstacle in reaching my goals will be myself and my lack of motivation at times. I don't always feel like this, but when I do, I can barely motivate myself to do stuff that I like. I've felt like this now for probably about three weeks. It probably has something to do with not doing my work and feeling guilty about it, which in turn, makes me feel shitty and not like doing anything.
Tonight, I am going to stop the vicious cycle. Starting now, I will have a few ground rules for myself.
The RULES:
1) Set attainable goals and write them down
2) Rewards only upon completion of goals
3) Reduce procrastinating
4) No wallowing in self-pity/guilt for slipping up. These are counter-productive, demoralizing and generally only lead to more procrastination
That's all for tonight. I will try and post the more major goals on here. If I don't put it off...
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