I had a nightmare last night. Only a nightmare because it was the last thing I wanted to experience again in my sleep. I just kept loading gels in my dream. One after another. I guess that is what I might end up doing, so hopefully I get better at it. It's funny because Sarah had the same dream.

I guess lately I've been feeling kind of isolated up here. I mean, there are berry few people I talk to about anything other than school. I think school is my cover topic, when I can think of nothing else. It is my security blanket. I'm trying to let go, but it is hard when it is such a huge part of my life. I feel like no one knows anything about me. Probably untrue... actually really untrue. There is very few people I feel that certain connection with- the one that only comes with certain people, your closest friends. The ones you can talk to about anything or almost anything... and they just know you and you can just be yourself around them- no effort... and they may make fun of you sometimes, but its all in good fun. I don't know, I'm missing that a lot of time here. I mean, I love that playing pool at Caitlin's never seems to get old. Or talking to Lindsay (my roomie) until 3 am in the morning about just about everything never gets old. Going for walks with Daley, if only to the Safeway to buy some chocolate or groceries at 11 pm- that never got old either (at least for me it didn't).

I really don't know where I am going with this... if I were a good writer I would make it sound all pretty and it would have direction and such. But I am tired so I think I'll just end it here for now... perhaps more ramblings at a later time.

State: Isolated
Song: The Horizon Had Been Defeated- Jack Johnson