Why?

Why am I still so scared to open up to people, especially people I care about? I'm afraid of getting hurt and I guess not making yourself vulnerable, not sharing what you are feeling because you are scared about how someone will react saves you from getting hurt. It also saves you from having any sort of meaningful relationship with anyone. I know all this and yet I continue to keep things from the people I care about. I'm living a lie and I know it. This makes me sick inside. I want to change but I am scared. But what is worse- being honest and getting hurt or living a lie? I think I am going to have to choose honesty in the end.