Well I'm up late again tonight... I had a major anxiety attack earlier this evening regarding biochem.

As long as I have all of those before the exam and not during the exam I'll be fine.

Good weekend... well at least sorta. I mean as good as it could be considering I studied amino acids all weekend...

bed calls...

song of the night: The Places That You Have Come To Fear The Most- Dashboard Confessional

Well another week have come and gone. I guess I've feeling better than I was the last time I posted which is good but I really I have no reason for this change. Maybe I've just re-become okay with being alone. Which is always good because I hated feeling the way I was before. Feeling like that makes me feel so powerless over my emotions. Not that I always want to have power over my emotions... but yeah. What I'd really like some power over is my hormones. They usually cause me more problems than my emotions.

So this weekend will be spent cramming for biochem. I have my first midterm in that course this Wednesday.

And I'm excited because tonight I am going to watch the premier of Gilmore Girls... woo hoo...

Otherwise my life is same old, same old. Song of the moment: Run - By Collective Soul and I Refuse by Sense Field

I should be in bed right but I'm not... anyhow this will be short... I found the perfect song to descibe how I am feeling and I had to share...

and the winner is: What Would Happen- Meredith Brooks

goodnight

It's late but I need to blog anyways. I'm not sure what about... but I have an overwheming desire to do so.

I talked to my Dad today. I kinda felt bad for not having phoned him since he helped me move. He sounded really good. I got a lot of news from him... lots of stuff I don't feel confortable sharing on here. Some stuff that kinda shell shocked me. My dad's horse injured its leg really bad... He spent a ton of money apparently trying to fix the leg where most people would have probably put the horse down or whatever they do to horses that get hurt.

Spent most of the day doing homework today... even so- I don't feel like I was very productive.

I'm so scared for my biochem midterm... it's too soon. ugh!

I wanted to write a huge paragraph on my state of mind right now... but I'm far too tired... and I have to get up in seven hours to go to school for the day! And when I say day- I mean I will be there for 10 hours or some sick amount of time like that...

song of the night: The Scientist- Coldplay

I had my first genetics lab today. I think it would be okay except I got a TA who has never taught the lab before and also has never taught anything in English before. Oh well, it will just be a lot more self directed than most bio labs. And i'll probably learn more from Lindsay's TA's handouts. Man, it would be great if our TA had handouts... I felt bad for him too. He was so nervous and we as students are so unforgiving as far as the language barrier goes. I'm going to try my best to be patient and such, give him the least trouble possible.

haha- the thermostat in my house is very sensitive... it just kicked in again... after being off for maybe 5 minutes.

I had some odd dreams last night. I can't remember much other than that David and this guy Ian (a cochrane guy) were in it. And they were both making me do weird things. Like climbing up a rope. But I wasn't really climbing up the rope... I was watching myself climb the rope on my computer... And they were both studying some sort of chemistry. Some really hard chem. Very theorectical.

So maybe I'll elaborate on how I've been feeling lately... maybe i'll be less vague than I was before. Or maybe I'll just keep it to myself... yeah.

Song of night: It's Not- Aimee Mann. Describes my state of being quite well... :)

sigh... biochem piling up... I haven't made much progress. 12 days until my first midterm... and i know very little.

anyways... other than that I think my stuff is going good.

as good as can be expected...

anyways... I really don't feel like pouring my heart out right now. although i have lots to pour my heart about.... don't feel like letting the world know how I feel on the inside...

goodnight to all...

song of the night: Dashboard Confessional- Standard Lines

Well another tuesday come and gone and as far as school work goes i didn't get much done... i do however understand genetics concepts better so that is good.

Not to gross all those reading out( but I will anyhow), but i feel like I am going to choke on my own phlegm and I'm starting to wonder if a shot of hard alcohol might do the trick as far as denaturing the protein lodged in my throat. Unfourtunatly I have no hard alcohol to test this theory... but the logic behind it seem about right... alcohol is pretty good a denaturing anything so yeah...although i'm not sure I'd be able to hold it in my throat for long enough to do any good....

On to less biologically gross topics (although all I can think of right now is the fact that I feel like choking...):

So I was a guinea for psych yesterday. So that was cool... but it was hard. The tester said there was no wrong answers... but I still was nervous. i mean I knew nothing about what they were asking... oh well pretty cool research anyhow.

I'm being thinking too much again lately... not that you really can think too much... but the brainstomer in me couldn't stop. Unfourtunately I haven't been able to convert this extra thinking into studying biochem.... unfourtunately this thinking seems to be centered around something completely unrelated to school. I'm being horribly vague, however, that is intentional. I wouldn't want anyone to actually guess what I might have been thinking about... because it is something I don't want to think about and yet I can't help myself.

I think i have rambled on about everything and nothing for long enough...

time to catch some zzzz's or listen to some more Dashboard Confessional... one of the two. I really should sleep... I've been up for far too long...

ciau for now:)

Lisa :)

Not understanding genetics is the least of my worries now. The fact that I don't understand biochem is far more daunting as the book sucks as far explanations go. That class is going to be the death of me.

I think it's funny that I haven't heard half the songs in my music library on my iTunes. That might have something to do with the fact that I stole around 700 songs from Daley. It's great- I keep finding new favorite songs. And I don't even have to turn on a radio or anything. They are all just there.

I'm really excited about my psych class. We have these online discussion groups and it seems like it will be really fun. My group seem like it will be pretty good- we sound like a bunch of keeners which is good because then we are likely to do well.

I got this cool program called a Konfabulator. It's hard to explain... but you use it to open widgets some of which are desktop weather or to-do lists ect. It's really cool. Only for macs though... the website is: www.widgetgalley.com.

So my newly discovered song is The Brilliant Dance by Dashboard Confessional... it doesn't really describe my state of mind or anything. But I really like it. I like it a lot.

Okay, on that note I'm going to sign off for today...

Well, another day has passed and this cold does not seem to be getting better. I guess you could say it is getting better but not at the rate that I wish it to.

I'm kinda not liking the fact that I don't understand my genetics stuff. I guess I will be going in for help tomorrow. I mean I'll think i understand it and then i'll go to do the problem and I won't be able to. It really sucks...

Nothing is really new in my life although I have this horrible sinking feeling that something is not quite right. This feeling is recent as in within the past five minutes. I feel just now at this very moment very unsure of myself. As if I am not spending enough time doing homework or something crazy like that. Which is true... i haven't spent nearly enough time doing biochemistry. Especially since I have been spending a lot of time trying to understand my genetics.

So that's all of my uninteresting news... back to the grind aka "my homework"....

Well, I haven't posted in approximately 10 days... so I guess I should. So school has been in for about a week and I've already picked favourites as far as courses go. I HATE biochemistry so far and my favourite (no surprise) is my first genetics course Bio 207. Placing second would be Anthropology- which I happen to love. I could almost see myself getting converted into an arts student because of that course. hahaha... well not quite. But you never know... I could always end up being a genetic anthropologist... which would be cool. Third fav is psychology which I have always liked so that isn't really a surprise... and Microbiology is kinda tied for third with psych... because it is pretty cool too.

Anyways, enough talk about school as fascinating as school is. Unfortunately I have been sick for the past three days. Some sort of head cold that seems to be going around because no one at uni ever stays home when they are sick, including me. I actually had to go on Tuesday though... cause I had a Lab and you really can't miss those unless you are almost dying which I wasn't so yeah. sigh... damn I'm still talking about school.

I've been having really weird dreams lately... I was going to post them on here so that I could remember them but it's too late now because I forget what they were about. Maybe it's all the cold meds I've been taking lately. Or it could just be because I'm crazy. Who knows?

So it's my turn to cook tonight... and I really don't know what I am going to cook... it think it will be something really simple like tomato tuna pasta or spicy peanut chicken pasta or rice. but we've eaten a lot of chicken lately... so I don't know.

Anyways... I really should get going. I'm already behind in biochem (because I can't seem to get interested) and I want to some genetics reading done before Lindsay gets home.

Okay- very excited! My roommate Lindsay is coming in a mere 15 minutes! Woo hoo!

That's all for now folks... later!