Okay... so I hardly did anything productive today besides work. Which means I had a day full of thinking...

I guess I was kinda in my own little world all day... a hazy daze just like the weather today. All the smoke looks like a fog....

Anyhow so I was thinking today... (while my internal radio played California by Phantom Planet on repeat) and I started feeling rather nostalgic. Actually... I've been feeling very nostalgic for quite awhile now... it's odd. I can't help but think of the past lately. I think it might be being back in Calgary for the summer. It almost feels like I'm preparing for my life to start again. Although it's not like life has ended here... but it feels like I'm living in the past and yet at the same time not.

I feel like I'm floating in between two times... the past and the future.

And then I was thinking about how long it's been since I've actually liked a person. As more than a friend that is. And when I say *actually* liked I mean... personality and all. I mean I've had some crushes- purely physical though and no one I'd feel comfortable pursuing anything with. People who don't know I exist and people who after I talked to them didn't seem so appealing after all. And then the people I have *actually* liked have been completely unavalible in their own special ways... ( I don't want to go into detail on this one as it is personal) I'm starting to wonder whether I ever will like again. But then I started thinking more rationally and realized I'm only human and of course I'll like again... it's just a matter of time...

As okay as I am with being single... I guess I am starting to feel a little lonely. I guess I just want what most people want... someone to share their life with. But I'm also willing to wait... as long as it takes...

And on that note I think i'll end this for the night... goodnight to all!