Hmm what to say... I wanted to blog something but I seem to have nothing to write.

I'm excited about going to Victoria. I don't know, I guess I have plenty of inner brooding or thoughts or feeling or a mix of all of those! Maybe I just don't feel like sharing. I don't know... I guess it might be because I don't want to admit that I am feeling the way I do. I was a lot more motivated today.

I guess the simple truth is I'm lonely. Not in the "I need some friends way."I have plenty of wonderful friends that mean a lot to me. In that I'd like to find a significant other to share stuff with... and I guess the only way I'll meet one of those is by putting myself out there. At the same time, it is a huge risk. And I guess I haven't met anyone lately that I am willing to risk myself for. I'm not actually sure what I mean by risk... but I think what I mean is the risk of getting hurt. yes that's it... But then again maybe I don't know if they are worth the risk because I haven't gotten to know them well enough. hmm it's a huge vicious circle in my mind.

Oh well... I don't like talking about it. As far as I am concerned I shouldn't even be lonely in the first place. I want to be okay with being by myself. And maybe this is just a product of being alone for many years. I'm pretty sure that might be part of it. Part of the craving for companionship.Hmm I guess the faster I get used to feeling like this the better... either that or actually do something about it, which I probably won't because I'm silly like that.

Tomorrow I have my anthro midterm and I don't think I am ready. But i don't think I'll ever feel ready as it is anthropology and I never seem to feel ready for those exams and surprisingly still manage to do well.

Time to hit the sack....

Until next time...